How can you help me to heal my grief?
Grief and loss, perhaps partly because of the finality involved, are among the most challenging emotions to accept and heal. Since the loss cannot be undone, the process of repair is one of acceptance and understanding, allowing all of the emotions to flow and evolve, rather than become stuck in the finality of the outer situation. Grieving is truly a form of love and devotion to those we love. Through careful, gentle acceptance of what we are feeling, the painful experiences of grief can become bearable. These felings also bear gifts of enriching our future lives with a depth of feeling and understanding we may not have known before. It is important to remember that this pain is part of a natural process and is not pathological. It is when we fail to accept the true feelings we are confronted with and try to bury them and go on without them that we get into trouble with grief.
It is in the nature of love that some feelings of missing your loved one may be with you forever, an expression of the love you feel and will always continue to feel for them. What is being accepted is not the loss itself, which may truly be unacceptable, but rather the pain you feel about the loss, so it may heal into feeleings of love, which is what it truly is.